Thoughts on reluctantly defining self as a "carer"

What do you mean when you say "carer"? Are you a family member or partner? Just trying to understand...
 Query from lovemyesotericmind (Tumblr)

 It took me a while to accept that I was a “carer”. It’s somewhat easier to state whilst my partner is a regular inpatient for mental health treatment. Foremost I am her partner, sometimes I am classed as “next of kin” - which can be a big deal when a person is Sectioned (forcibly kept in hospital) under the Mental Health Act, you become the officially notified person and you have a right to challenge the Section. In situations where her outpatient care is lacking, I have a real voice as her carer (and sometimes “advocate”), since it affects my life too. After that I am her partner (not quite common-law husband and wife because we live in separate small dwellings) After a few years of this (I have been J’s partner for seven years) and realising that I needed my employers to understand that occasionally that I must be available when J is in crisis, as well as compensating on a daily basis for J’s peculiarities resulting from her condition, I knew that I was her carer. In fact my current availability to employers is very restricted, because of my need to be available to her (also I can’t concentrate in any job whilst she is actively trying to kill herself). I’m trying to be self employed, but may have to make some difficult decisions soon (I despise contact with the brutal welfare system) In the UK there are some problems with the formality of the title, depending upon whether or not you can claim benefits depending upon the role. Politicians and charities are now acknowledging the “hidden army” of carers as a genuine saving on the NHS and Social Services, which can be vindicating in a way that it wasn’t in the past. Even when she isn’t in crisis, I prompt her to take medication and helping her to not worry about appointments, I do errands for her when she is agoraphobic, this includes picking up prescriptions and keeping her company during interviews, assessments etc. (Edit: I help with meals which can be an issue regarding her ED) I find the issue a confusing one, when you love a person, these are the things we do, it seems so normal. At some point, friends and colleagues starting talking about my needs, which didn’t make any sense to me, since I always felt that J’s problems were being barely addressed so it seemed bizarre that I could even identify myself as someone in a role defined by her illness. This is all very strange, because as a mental health worker in the voluntary sector (a job I’ve now left, partly because there was “mental health” in too many corners of my life and partly in protest at changes to local services), I was always signposting people to get support to alleviate whatever load life was throwing at them, and some of them were carers-in-denial too. Oops, sorry if I’ve babbled a bit. Talking about the role of carer is still something I’m negotiating with and am currently having teeny bit of a crisis with my job situation as well. ;) The good news is that I’m starting to get advice. Thanks for asking the question, it sometimes helps for me to see my thoughts and feelings written out like this. :)