wokeuponthewrongside asked:
Hey who do you care for??
I care for J (who is in her thirties). In a way way we’re almost common-law husband and wife (if we actually lived together) so I use the term “partner”. She she currently at the Bradgate Mental Health Unit in Leicestershire (UK). I don’t mind mentioning the location of the place because I feel that not enough has been done to improve that place despite complaints, warnings and promises, but I need to protect her identity for now. Since much of my own life is tailored to helping her with her day-to-day mental health problems, we finally decided that I was her informal carer. For several years we did not mention this to professionals because we felt that they would help her less if they thought someone was looking after/ out for her. The truth is there is no way of predicting the level of care or help that will be available in a crisis, it’s completely arbitrary and down to the pressures on and the prejudices within the professional make the referral (I say “prejudices” because her diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, means that she is treated as a type of attention seeker time-waster, and not an extremely depressed suicidal person - in fact they rarely believe she is actually suicidal). She’s lucky enough to have a CPN and psychiatrist in the community, but the people in these roles keep changing. Apparently I am one of the few points of continuity in her life, as a result I am sometimes her advocate/next of kin as well. :)
belis86 asked:
I wanted to thank you for your blog. It's not news to me that our mental health services are failing but to read your account was a real eye opener. It's clearly not just about cuts but also attitudes.
Thanks. :) Sometimes I find it difficult to type things in a logical way with specific quotes and incidents, sometimes the ambivalence of staff to their own malpractice makes you doubt your instincts and what to expect, but instincts is sometimes all we have left. Our (J’s & my) instincts are that this service can do a lot better than this. I am amazed we hear that mental health treatment on the NHS is not “compassion based”, when in fact good nurses act with compassion and to some extent, passion, i.e. belief in what they do, belief in recovery or at least understand their role in terms of alleviating suffering. That’s the good nurses. Some nurses, and consultants repeatedly tell us that not everything they do is diagnosis based, and yet we see all sorts of differences in care and attitudes to different patients - and not in a good way. The simplest of briefings and awareness training could prevent so many triggers and upset. Hospitals genuinely believe that suicide prevention is all about collapsible ligature points and observation, and yet day after day they will screw up someone’s whole week by not allowing them out for a walk because of a lack of staff, or visiting relatives or a medical appointment is cancelled because the transport isn’t available, or the main consultant is off sick but no-one will bother to tell the patients that ward round is cancelled - with minimal acknowledgement that these things might be an issue (you read this in inquest reports, somehow “circumstantial” is not their problem). That’s just the broadest stuff. When confined to a ward, or under section, patients will feel utterly powerless and yet supposedly patient centred care demands that they take initiative and responsibility over their own path to recovery, and yet the accountability of the hospital and Trust and any recourse is zero. J went for months without the doctors being organised enough to change her medication, after saying that this was the main reason for her admission, even raising the issue was a big deal for her. We’ve just come through a very bumpy period where they wanted to send her away for up to two years (compulsory and costly) for care she may have already had. Gah, I’m going off the point. It’s the diagnosis prejudice I hate. Nurses literally transform in front of J once they recognise her to be a friendly, but anxious, interesting person and not some sort of troublemaking temporary-stay whining manipulative meat-unit (which her notes or hand-over must have communicated).
Thank you so much for your message. I’m partly writing this blog because there is very little ongoing feedback or validation, or acknowledgement of the problems in these institutions. The police often say “you need the right help”, and assume that by handing you over for an assessment that you’ll get that help. No policeman has ever said we’ll be charged with wasting police time, and yet we have been told this on several occasions by Crisis Teams and consultants - I follow instructions to the letter with regards to emergency services. As J’s carer, apparently my life is supposed to get easier when she is in hospital, it’s quite the opposite. I think my friends and family have heard all our stories some much now that they may believe the problem is with us.
Anyway, thanks again. I hope you are well, and are not put off seeking help for yourself or others.
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