Tumblr query: Would specific training help me with J?

Query from anonymous Tumblr user:

"You ever considered getting some training in dealing with someone with a personality disorder?"

A curious question. I’m not sure I would like much more insight into these one-size-fits-all diagnoses. All training is of interest, but to what end? I think my own short lived career in mental health is over for the foreseeable future (partly because I see most agency support as very lacking) We’re still divided that J should be classed as BPD. I see depression, anxiety, low self esteem and OCD (plus eating disorders, possibly PTSD from several very specific traumatic events) I attended a training day for my work in the mental health drop-ins which taught me practically the opposite to what I see the NHS practitioners doing. So far, the main thing I understand about personality disorders is that it brings out the worse in many professionals, who seem to think it’s acceptable to invalidate the patient’s suffering to the point of dehumanizing them. A tutor would probably tell me that at the end of the day I’m being manipulated by J, and that I’m allowing sentiment to hold her recovery back. J doesn’t always care what I think (as opposed to someone looking for a reaction). Some days she just wants to be dead. I’m a strong believer in humane empathy based solutions, positive coping and so on, reliable structure, empowerment, sympathy, maybe a little resilience but imbued with compassion. Ironically, I think I’d be too prejudiced in a training environment. Also, as her carer, her consultants never give a damn about any of my informed opinions, so maybe I’m better running on instinct - especially when J is suicidal and needs to be kept safe. No amount of formal training can help me pull the pills out of her mouth or help in tackling her to the ground when she is near busy road. I’m not sure PD training would help in steering away from these events. Maybe it would help me understand and cope with these situations, but I have a feeling we would end up alienating each other. Does that make any sense? Although as I type this I realize that there’s another aspect to this, autonomy. It would be interesting to try and construct a plan which means we don’t have to have contact with services, but whilst we pursue pharmacological (edit: pharmaceutical? i.e. medication) solutions it’s going to be pretty hard to break away from consultants completely. J needs the right treatment and perhaps I need training in something other than mental health, which has hijacked my life in so many ways up to now.  Thanks for messaging,